New Year. New Blog.

So. I realized somewhere along this adventure that I want a blog, I created a blog spot and never updated. I hope to use this blog as a way to keep people updated on what I am doing and also to reflect: a place for revelations about German culture or, sometimes, myself. Coming to Germany definitely entailed growing up a little bit. I've read other people's blogs, and recently I came across a very interesting one. One of the girls in our group had taken her blog and had written a review of the year of 2009. There is absolutely no way I could do it as poetically as she did, but I think it is interesting to see what has changed in the past year, so I am going to try. : )

REVIEW OF 2009:

January: I rang in the New Year’s babysitting with Jana, laughing and playing with kids. I spent the first day of the year watching High School Musical 3 at the dollar theater on the weirdest date ever with my sister and my best friend there too. J I went home and talked about boys while eating fondue with Tori E and Jana. J My application was due for Germany.

February: Helping Dustin and Tori with elaborate Valentine’s plans for each other, more caught up in their plans than my own. My mom presented a question: "Lissa, what if you don't get this scholarship?" I had never really thought about it before for more than a second or two. The thought scared me. What would I do? Disappear for 10 months? Try to get into some other kind of program? I built a 10 month hole in my schooling schedule that made it impossible to continue with Junior year in August like a normal kid. I sang Usher with Tori E in the car then went home and ate fondue while watching a good ol' Disney movie.

March: I became friends with Felicia. Tori E and I celebrated her birthday lavishly at the Melting Pot. Felicia and I spent Spring Break sleeping in the TV room at Kristina’s dorm talking about her Swedish school and her friends. We drove to Houston Space Center. We drove to Galveston and danced in the sand and played in the waves. Jumping into beautiful jetés. We did cartwheels and felt the cold sea water rush along side us. The sun came out more.

April: I turned 16. I was so happy, a person can see that by looking at my driver’s license. I had the biggest ridiculous grin. I wore a tiara the entire day from the dentist office and brought home pink roses from Gwen. J I had Mexican food with my mommy. We ate my birthday dinner happily on the back porch and the sun poured in. Got Germany related gifts, even started packing to go. I read a list "You Know You've Been an Exchange Student when..." with Felicia, Tori, and Therese. I didn't understand it, I didn't relate. Went to A&M again and celebrated with Kristina. We danced in fountains. We drove through the night.

May: AP Exams. Studying. Stressed. Taking pictures with Tori Elenburg by the dozen. I had a new smile from April, I felt genuine and real. Laying outside tanning with Felicia and coming back so red for my sister’s graduation: it wasn’t funny. We sent Gary home. We sent Felicia home.

June: I danced at my recital. My mom said I was gorgeous and belonged up there. I loved performing. I liked the other moms worrying about silly things like how straight my bow was and the bobby pins in my hair. I missed that part of dance by starting late. Started working hard. Babysitting and working at the dentist office. I put on a wig and became Wade Winalot. Started VBS. Got a phone call one day at the dentist office: “Lissa, would you want to work in Hawaii?” I quit my jobs. I was on a plane to Phoenix 19 hours later. I saw Staci for the last time before Germany. I went to Hawaii. I played with Renee and soaked up a different sun. I went running for the sunrise and listened to crowing roosters at 5AM. I went to bed still rocking slightly by the ocean and feeling the waves rush between my legs even under the covers. I belonged in the water. Jana joined me.

July: I learned more about the world than I ever thought I would. It was intense. I took it as truth. I saw some of the most beautiful things. I jumped off of waterfalls fearless. I met scary men in ancient Hawaiian graveyards. I stopped noticing when it started randomly raining and life went on. I went home tanned and blonde. The word "Thank You" developed a new importance. I went tubing with my family and Jana. I sat in the back seat and listened to my sisters tell me about how Germany would be. I enjoyed my family time.

August: I decorated the dentist office playroom. I ran around with Tori on our last missions together. Toys R Us. Ikea. Wal-Mart. I had a going away party where unexpected friends came. We ended up doing wheelbarrow races in the neighbor’s front yard in to the late night hours. We played under the flood lights in the Texas summer. We ate banana foster fondue. Andrea and Hannah sent me off to Germany. I spent my last day with my sisters. I got a charm bracelet. My mom got upset. My best friend left without a goodbye. I cried in the airport. I didn't have enough time to do everything I wanted to before I left. I flew to Germany. I met new people. I did language camp. I realized I was things that Prosper didn’t know. I learned to tango and I enjoyed it. I showed up half an hour late and disheveled to class after dancing in a drying room in Germany. Loved it. I became a new person that people rarely saw: I was loud. Always laughing. Very sarcastic and joking. Radiant.

September: I left my family of 4 weeks. I moved to Aachen. I got a host family. I went kayaking. I went to parties. I tried to learn German. I became quieter instead. I couldn't say little sarcastic things like I used to. I struggled in the background. I spent days stressed and way over my head. I started to grow up. Being 16 in Germany and being 16 in America have different meanings.

October: I went to Oktoberfest with Jana and was thankful for stupid things. I became “American Dream Girl” and “Sonnenschein.” I saw CBYXers for the first time and missed people I never cared about. We had an emotional break down in Mainz: a misunderstanding and a quiet Lissa. We got honest. I spent days playing with other Americans around Nord-Rhine Westphalia. I went to a tea party and ate oreos and chocolate chip cookies with Germans. My German got better. I taught people how to have fun dancing the American way, pulling out my best dance moves: the shopping cart, the lawn mower, the Q-tip. I started getting louder again.

November: I went to a movie with the girls and understood everything. I had a great night. I had a day with Anne where I complained and someone understood. I got a bookshelf. I printed photos and made my German room a little more like home. I started to get amazing German. I started to think and dream in German. I got annoyed with my friends here. I went to an American Thanksgiving. I picked out exchange students for America next year. I had a blast. I got sick.

December: I was still sick. I was home a week. My German skills started to suck. Josh was here. I loved showing Aachen off, I didn't like speaking so much English. I turned down Lyle’s birthday party. I met Alex in Köln. I spoke with someone in fluent in German for five hours that I had had countless conversations with in English before. I played in snow. I started ballet. I danced. I missed dancing. I bought a plane ticket to Sweden. I survived Christmas. I survived New Years. I say goodbye to 2009. I typed 6 pages in my journal.